I Love Tzipi

Read all about the amazing woman who might be Israel's next Prime Minister, Tzipi Livni.

She's currently the Minister of Foreign Affairs (Condi's Israeli equivalent). She speaks English, Hebrew & French. A wife with two kids. A former lieutenant Israel Defense Forces. And a vegetarian.

I fucking love this woman.

A Pleasant Distraction

No Country For Gay Men from Lawrence Scaduto on Vimeo.

And Here's To You, Mr. Paterson

NY Governor David Paterson announced yesterday that all state agencies must recognize gay marriages performed in California and Massachusetts. Some more info below:

'The directive is the strongest signal yet that Mr. Paterson, who developed strong ties to the gay community as a legislator, plans to push aggressively to legalize same-sex unions as governor. His predecessor, Eliot Spitzer, introduced a bill last year that would have legalized gay marriage, but even as he submitted it, doubted that it would pass. The Democratic-dominated Assembly passed the measure, but the Republican-led Senate has refused to call a vote on it.

Short of an act by the Legislature, the directive ordered by Mr. Paterson is the one of the strongest statements a state can make in favor of gay unions.

“Basically we’ve done everything we can do on marriage legislatively at this point,” said Sean Patrick Maloney, a senior adviser to Mr. Paterson. “But there are tools in our tool kit on the executive side, and this is one".'
-Jeremy W. Peters, NYT

Thank you, Governor. There are limits to your power, but thank you for using your power for good, and putting yourself on the line, and taking a risk to do all that you're capable of to promote equality in our state. Your courage inspires.

Gym Etiquette

A rare, true life story from yours truly.

At the gym this morning, I was working out on the elliptical when a lovely young woman got onto the machine next to mine. She was watching Regis and Kelly, though today, Pat Sajak was substituting for Reeg. I don't judge what people watch to pass the time at the gym. Who cares? But then...

She proceeded to hysterically giggle during the entire show (which, I soon discovered has like zero commerical breaks). I tried to give her the eye a few times to be like, lady, stop, but she didn't. Her laugh was beyond annoying, a fake, breathy loud pulsating giggle. People around her kept looking over, but she was oblivious, so enthralled was she by the delightful comedic timing of Pat & Kelly. I thought, I'd better wrap up this work-out before things get ugly. I could feel the blood rising, I could feel myself getting angrier, and then...

I got to work and saw this story.

It is so refreshing to one's sanity to witness someone else doing something you almost did yourself, but had the restraint not to. It makes you feel so incredibly, deeply sane...

Polygamy = Hot

The photos of Warren Jeffs and his child-brides are revealed. See all here.

Olbermann on Clinton's Assassination Remarks

A powerful and worthy argument why Hillary Clinton must never be our President. If you don't want to watch the entire 10 minute segment, fast forward to 7:17, where Olbermann makes his point so crystal clear, it is indisputable. 

Don't Do It, Buddy

Rumors are swirlling that Bill Clinton is pushing hard for Obama to take Hillary on as his running mate (articles can be read on Politico and Time).

All I can say is, big mistake. You don't unify the party by giving the second place finisher the second slot. Voters had a choice, and they chose. If Hillary cares about the party, she needs to get behind Obama and work hard for him, and he needs to be graceful, grateful and respectful. But the Vice-Presidency has long ceased being the 2nd place finisher's automatic slot (and when it was, we got guys like dualist Aaron Burr).

Hillary ran to be President and she lost. Deal with it.

But before we can deal with it, she needs to. She needs to own up to losing and bow out gracefully. Until that happens, nothing Obama does will unify the party. The triumphant victor can't just bask in his own glow if the loser is still on the sidelines rallying her supporters behind her.

The Democrats don't need Hillary on the ticket to unify the party. They need her to be a graceful loser.

Lady, Go Away!

"Hillary Clinton compared her effort to seat Florida and Michigan delegates to epic American struggles, including those to free the slaves and win the right to vote for blacks and women."
-Ben Smith, Politico

I want to fucking slap this fucking condescending snot across the face. You lost. Lose fair and square. Don't you DARE pretend you're in a civil rights fight equivalent to slavery and the suffragettes. You believe that? Then you're a fool.

Obama/Bobbit '08

If I were Barack Obama, I would do the following:

1) Call up homegirl and say, "White Girl, you're done. Buh-bye."

2) Call up the creator and founder of But It's Not Even Leather and say, "I think I've got this nomination in the bag, but I'm struggling. I need someone with foreign policy heft, someone with experience, but not a Washington player. Everyone keeps crying, Joe Biden! Ted Strickland! But I just don't know. Oh wise blogger of But It's Not Even Leather, who should I choose?"

To which I would respond, have I got some brilliant suggestions for you. Have you considered...

A Movie Star?

Morgan Freeman. He certainly convinced me he was Presidential in Deep Impact.

Will Smith. He can beat aliens; surely he can solve the energy crisis.

Bette Midler. The country is certainly ready for a Jewish-American-Hawaiin triple threat. She could sing the Beaches soundtrack during Senate fillibusters.

Al Pacino. Hey Ahmadinejad, you really want to fuck with THE Godfather?






A Truly Frightening Movie Mogul


Harvey Weinstein. Honestly, I'd love to see him in a room with Ahmadinejad.






Or, A Different Kind of Harvey?

Harvey Fierstein. Ok, I'd really love to see his meeting with Ahmadinejad. Uh-mazing. Plus, he could totally charm those blue collar, working white voters in outfits like this one.









Mama Rose?


Patti LuPone. She's probably going to win a Tony in June. Why not the Vice-Presidency in November?



A Weatherman? (No, not Bill Ayers!)
Al Roker! A friendly face who can cheerfully report the weather each morning from the steps of the Capitol. "It's a frigid, snowy day here in Washington, and also, Larry Craig is looking for some skiing materials in the 3rd floor men's restroom."


A Friend Who Will Always Know Your Name?

Rhea Perlman. She'll dispense sound advice over beers.






A Diet Self-Help Motivational Speaker?


Susan Powter. Remember her? Yeah, me neither.









America's Most Celebrated Photographer?

Annie Liebowitz. If the country's ready for a black man as president, why not a Jewish lesbian as his running mate? And consider the great Vanity Fair spreads!




Speaking of Jews...


Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Everyone loves Shalom in the Home! Plus, he was on Oprah, and would certainly deflect Rev. Wright criticism. Don't you think this face would sell in West Virginia?








My Mother?


Ellen Harmon. Why not? If what you need is a white woman lawyer and you don't want Hillary, she's a pretty solid choice. But I'm biased.





A Woman Politician?

Sen Claire McCaskill (D-MO). Obama fan from the start, blonde female Senator from a swing state, good for the ticket, good for the heart. Love her.









Ok, No More Messing Around. If Hillary has taught us anything, the country is not only ready for a woman in charge, but they like them feisty. Real fiesty. Well, sorry Hill, but you're a Georgia peach compared to these broads. Who wouldn't love to see Obama take office with one of these legends from the 90's?



Tonya Harding. You get in her way, she'll break your kneecaps.










Amy Fisher. Mess with her, she'll shoot your wife in the face. Seriously.











Lorena Bobbit. 'Nuff said.

Friedman on Obama's Jewish Quandry

A great column from Mr. Friedman in this weekend's NYT. Here's a snippet, but you should read the whole piece:

"If Israel is your voting priority, then at least ask the right questions about Mr. Obama. Knock off the churlish whispering campaign about what’s in his heart on Israel (what was in Richard Nixon’s heart?) and focus first on what kind of America you think he’d build and second on whether you believe that as president he’d have the smarts, steel and cunning to seize a historic opportunity if it arises."

My Fantasy Come to Life

"A trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway... both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies."

That has only happened in my dreams...

Read all about it here.

Let's Get Married In Malibu

"SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.
The justices released the 4-3 decision Thursday, saying that domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George.
The cases were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom's direction."
-AP

Edwards to Endorse Obama!!

Check this shit OUT!!!

The End of Polar Bears?

This is pretty depressing. Brace yourselves.

"The Interior Department has decided to protect the polar bear as a threatened species because of the decline in Arctic sea ice from global warming, officials said Wednesday...

The department, in deciding to list the bear as threatened, will cite studies by its own scientists that the decline of Arctic sea ice off Alaska and Canada could result in two-thirds of the polar bears disappearing by mid-century, said federal officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because the decision had not been announced.

This is the first time that the Endangered Species Act has been used to protect a species threatened by the impacts of global warming."

-H. Josef Herbert, AP

18 Suicides Daily

This article comes from John Koopman of the SF Chronicle; I've included some choice moments below. While I imagine most everyone who reads my blog is against the war in Iraq, this article really got to me. 18 veterans on average are committing suicide each day upon returning from war? That's not acceptable. It's just not. I'm going to look into what civilians like us can be doing to help soldiers returning to a hostile country from a hostile war. But doing nothing is not an option.

"The number of veterans who commit suicide is growing, and it is causing major concern among veterans groups and lawmakers. A recent report by CBS News, now supported by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, indicates that an average of 18 veterans commit suicide every day nationwide.

In California in 2006, 666 veterans committed suicide - 21 percent of the 3,198 suicides that year, according to the California Department of Public Health. Yet that year, the 2.1 million veterans in the state represented only 6 percent of the state's 37.1 million residents.

The suicide figures among veterans have caught congressional attention. Two senators have demanded the resignation of Ira Katz, the VA official who wrote "Shh" at the top of the e-mail dealing with suicide attempts and disputed the statistics in public testimony while confirming them in internal documents. A House committee has scheduled a hearing on veterans' suicides this week.

But testimony in a lawsuit - brought by veterans groups seeking an order to force the VA to promptly screen and treat those at risk of suicide and set timetables for handling claims for medical benefits - indicated there was evidence that returning troops are taking their own lives in greater numbers. Witnesses and plaintiffs said there has been a steady increase in the veterans' suicide rate since 2001, and a comparatively high rate among veterans ages 20 to 24. The suit was heard by federal District Court Judge Samuel Conti, who has yet to make a ruling.
During the trial, witnesses testified the suicide rate for those veterans was anywhere from two to 7.5 times the rate among the general population.

The causes for this increase in veterans' suicide rates aren't well understood, but mental-health professionals say the biggest problem is post-traumatic stress disorder. The ailment, better-known as PTSD, is thought to afflict up to 30 percent of the troops who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Romeo Horvath returned from Iraq with a bad case of PTSD, and while he is not suicidal, he said, that's not uncommon even in Iraq.

A military police officer, Horvath was on watch in a guard tower one night and heard a gunshot from within the compound. Over the radio, someone announced that a Marine had just shot himself.

'A lot of people get this feeling of helplessness,' he said. 'Some guy has a girlfriend, and she's cheating on him. Can't call home, can't go try to work things out. You just sit there and think about it over and over again. You can go crazy'."

You can also read this effective column on Huffington Post by James Boyce.

Natural Disasters

Cyclones in Mynamar? Tornadoes in the Mid-West? Earthquakes in China? Wildfires in Florida?

Having trouble keeping track of all the natural disasters? I know I am? Here's a brief summary from HuffPo.

Don't Name Your Daughter Monica

Monicas never turn out well. Watch this; it's incredible.

We Now Know Who The Nominee Will Be

My Mother, The Pundit

Who better to assess last night than my mother, the snarky Brooklyn-born, Brooklyn-educated lawyer who once wore a tiny gold hangar around her neck to show her pro-choice support.

"I am so sick of hearing that Hillary's base is this blue-collar white working class voter. That's not her base! Those are just people who won't vote for a black man. What do blue collar, factory-working white men have in common with this fat woman lawyer in polyester pantsuits? They have more in common with your dog, Zeke."

Out of the mouths of smart, well-educated women lawyers...

Say Cheese, Fritzl!

Anyone else as obsessed with this story as I am? This article in the Daily Mail by Julie Moult is the most comprehensive I've read yet. Here are some choice quotes, for your, well, I won't say amusement, because this is a sad story, so how about, for our collective perverse curiosity:

For the first nine months of her 24 years in captivity, she was also tethered with a 5ft dog leash around her neck to prevent her escape

For the first nine years, he imprisoned her in a grim 15ft by 15ft box room which had a makeshift toilet in one corner. She told police that Fritzl forced her to help drag a 600lb concrete and steel door into position to seal the dungeon. It was only when it was in place that she discovered she had helped to build her own prison.

Fritzl finally agreed to expand the cellar - again with Elisabeth's help - after she had given birth to two of his children. He forced her to dig out the chambers by hand, working for hours at a time. The process took nearly a decade.

Austrian police said the air inside the inner chambers was so stifling they have been forced to drill holes to allow investigators to breathe.

Fritzl is said to be obsessively watching TV reports about the incarceration and abuse of his daughter from his isolated cell.

In police interviews, Elisabeth said that at the start she had fought against the imprisonment, banging on the walls and screaming until she could no longer speak, but no one had come as the weeks turned into months, and the years into decades.

Shameless Self-Promotion

This Woman is a Lesbian

Crystal Dixon has been placed on leave by the University of Toledo (Yes! Yay! Good job!) for writing an article in the local press in which she states, "As a Black woman who happens to be an alumnus of the University of Toledo's Graduate School, an employee and business owner, I take great umbrage at the notion that those choosing the homosexual lifestyle are "civil rights victims." Here's why. I cannot wake up tomorrow and not be a Black woman. I am genetically and biologically a Black woman and very pleased to be so as my Creator intended. Daily, thousands of homosexuals make a life decision to leave the gay lifestyle evidenced by the growing population of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex Gays) and Exodus International just to name a few. Frequently, the individuals report that the impetus to their change of heart and lifestyle was a transformative experience with God; a realization that their choice of same-sex practices wreaked havoc in their psychological and physical lives."

-Crystal Dixon, Toledo Free Press

Ok, where to begin. Let's just focus on that first part. But first, what the fuck does your being a business owner have to do with gay people deserving equal rights? I don't really get that, but I'm glad you got a master's degree from some shitty school in what might be the shittiest city in America.

Sorry. I don't mean to judge. But you're sure doing a lot of judging Crystal, aren't you? And Jesus didn't give you the name Crystal, your Mom did, so maybe you could pass along a message from me: Crystal is a name for morons and strippers. I take it you're not the latter, so...

Although, with all that make-up on (severe purple eye shadow, and tons of lipstick, which, white or black, no woman is born with blood red lips. I'm pretty sure your creator didn't intend for you to look like that. If he did, he would have made you that way), maybe you do like to strip. In which case, ew.

Seriously, what is it with these evangelical wing-nuts who blame their beastliness on their creator? He made you, first of all, naked, and you're wearing clothes, so take those off. Actually, please don't. Ew. He made you without blonde highlights, I'm pretty sure. Did he also make you a close-minded bitch?

Because if you're going to argue that it's sinful to deviate from the norm of the creator, then you don't get to pick and choose which norms are more important than others.

But what this all boils down to, after a lot of reflection is this: Crystal Dixon is a closet-case lesbian. How do I know? Check out that photo. No sister I know would ever wear a mullet like that (and let it be PUBLISHED in a NEWSPAPER!) if she wasn't muff-diving on the side, or at the very least, in her heart of hearts.

Go beaver go!

May I Sniff Your Chair?

An Australian politician is in trouble for smelling the chair of his female colleague after she stood up. I love politics.

Read more here.