The Clintonian Paradox

A great editorial worth checking out on Huffington.

"To observe Senator Clinton's pledge to seat the Florida delegates while, at that very moment, violating a previous pledge, was to observe a Clintonian paradox in its pristine, natural habitat."
-Bob Cesca on The Huffington Post

Moynihan for Obama

The widow of former New York Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan has endorsed Barack Obama. For those familiar with NY politics, this is a small, but certainly a meaningful little dig at Hillary, who launched her bid for the Senate at Moynihan's upstate home. He never seemed to be a huge fan of his successor, and now with his widow coming out for Barack, it's just another example of someone close to our esteemed Senator who isn't such a fan. Where's NOW now?

Orphan Annie Wishes You A Great Day!

Little Orphan Annie hopes you have a great day!

And Sandy says: Arf!

FYI, this is Obama's favorite film of all time. Vote Obama on Super Tuesday!

99 Problems...

Marcia Pappas, of NOW, lambasted Sen. Kennedy for his support of Obama. Here are a few of her choicier comments:

"We think that Ted Kennedy, who claims to be a supporter of women's rights, who now has come out and joined the [Obama] bandwagon, is basically saying that a qualified woman, Hillary Clinton, is not qualified enough for him."

"He's joined the list of progressive white men who can't or won't handle the prospect of a woman president who is Hillary Clinton," the release read, "(they will of course say they support a woman president, just not "this" one)."

Pappas insisted that Kennedy's decision was just another example of "good old boys," who have "decided that they will support anybody but a woman... He knows in his heart that Clinton is the best person for the job, and for whatever reasons he seems he's not willing to support her."

(This is all from Sam Stein on The Huffington Post).

Hey Lady! First of all, you don't know what goes on in Ted Kennedy's heart, and you sound dumb when you say you do. Really dumb.

Also, Pappas' argument is, in fact, the whole problem with Hillary's case for the presidency. Being qualified isn't enough. Lots of people are qualified. Chris Dodd was qualified. Joe Biden was qualified. If it were just about being qualified, Hillary would have a long line of Senators, Congressmen and Governors to get in line behind, because they've been qualified for a lot longer than she has.

Maybe Marica should call Bob Dole and kibbitz with him. He could tell her a thing or two about being a qualified loser.

And yes, bitch: white guys are ready to support a woman president. But not this one.

Schamus' Sham

James Schamus writes the following on yesterday's Huffington Post:

"A Bloomberg candidacy would thus, by its very existence, inflame racial and ethnic tensions to truly horrific levels, dispossessing Black and Latino Americans of their hard-earned stakes in the one political institution (along with some parts of organized labor) in which they have managed to gain a significant toehold, the Democratic Party. Jewish-Americans committed to the ideals of social justice and a democratic (regardless if Democrat-led) America should thus do everything in their power to dissuade Bloomberg from running this year."

Let's pick this apart, shall we?

First, there is nothing more democratic than having more than 2 viable candidates in an election. Fuck the Nader haters who blame him for Bush's presidency. The point of living in a democracy is so that people have choices. The problem is the two-party system, not the third party candidates who give voice to those who can't hear their own reflected in the din of the monolith. Anyone who has the funding and the support to mount a credible campaign deserves our respect for enhancing our democracy; to claim that there is some social good in limiting ourselves to two parties is inherently unjust.

Second, let's take note of the underlying self-hating Jew-talk in all of this-- Jews' concern about having a President who shows concern for what matters to them is somehow less worthy than Blacks and Latinos' concerns?

And why exactly would there be inflamed racial tensions? Because Bloomberg would siphon off votes from Obama, and because he's Jewish, and hurting a Democrat's chance at the White House, he would invite the wrath of America's minorities (though last time I checked, Latinos were supporting Hillary, but whatever)? So by having a more democratic presidential election, with more than 2 candidates, minorities would become outraged because they prefer a less democratic way of life? Um, bullshit. And if minorities would rise up and riot because a Jewish guy wants to be President, then not only is that fucked up, but that's the problem right there: if there really is all this animosity between Jews and minorities bubbling under the surface, you don't keep sweeping that under the rug by telling people not to run! You address it, you deal with it, you work it out.

Also, like, I have more faith in the intelligence of all people not to be so simple minded and hateful. Maybe I'm naive, but I hope not.

I'm a huge Obama supporter, but Schamus' article is shameful. And while it's really touching that he seems to care so much about the little guy, ask him how much he pays all the little guys who work for him at Focus. I can tell you this much: it's not a living wage.

I'm Back!

Hey Kids-
Spent a week out sick with the flu from hell. But fret not, I'm back, and working on a nasty political post for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned...

How Can You Not Love This Man?

A year from today, this man could be our President. South Carolina- you're up next...

"By itself, that single moment of recognition between the young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we begin. It is why the walls in that room began to crack and shake.

And if they can shake in that room, they can shake in Atlanta.

And if they can shake in Atlanta, they can shake in Georgia.

And if they can shake in Georgia, they can shake all across America. And if enough of our voices join together, we can bring those walls tumbling down. The walls of Jericho can finally come tumbling down."

-Barack Obama, January 20, 2008

The Little Slut

I'm sure I'm not the first to consider this, so forgive me if this already occured to you. I saw The Little Mermaid on Broadway this week. The story of an underwater princess who gets her bipedal prince is actually the raunchy tale of a slut wooing a prude (or closet-case?); biology is flipped on its head as a young, virile (read: horny) man is transformed into... a Disney princess!

Here's how: Ariel sees a boy on a boat. She has to have him. She signs a contract stipulating that she has 3 days to get with him, or else she goes to some kind of hell. So the second Ariel lands on land, she wants that prince's tounge jammed down her throat. He thinks she's fine, he's into her, but when he realizes she can't speak, he loses interest. Communication is key for this prince.

Most guys I know would be thrilled to meet a hot chick who was into them and MUTE! But no, this guy needs cozy chats by the fire and romantic dinner conversations. What a loser!

Ariel & Eric keep hanging out and even though the prince starts to feel something, he resists physical intimacy. That whole Kiss The Girl scene is about setting the mood for him! Because Ariel is ready, willing, and able. Her life depends on this hook-up, she's ready to make like Halle Berry in Monster's Ball, but the prince is like, I don't know, the atmosphere's not right, I'm scared. He's acting like a Disney princess!

Long story short, Eric kills Ursula, but he takes so long to get it on with his woman that her father has to use his trident to turn her into a woman so she can marry the Prince who is now all about it because she can speak! The end.

Coda: 4 years later, as Prince Eric is cheating on his nagging, annoying wife Ariel, he's like, God I miss the days when she didn't speak. Why didn't I take advantage of those days and have, like, a lot of sex? What was wrong with me?

Moral of the story: When men act like Disney Princesses, slutty girls die. (Until their Daddies' tridents split their tails open and save them).

I Don't Get It

NYT article today about the split among African-Americans between Hillary & Obama supporters. Call me crazy, but I don't really understand the following quote:

Another prominent Clinton supporter from the civil rights era, Andrew Young, also defended Mrs. Clinton. “Hillary Clinton, first of all, has Bill behind her,” Mr. Young said on a recent Webcast devoted to African-American issues. “And Bill is every bit as black as Barack.”
-Shaila Dewan, NYT

I'm sure Mr. Young is a very smart man, and seriously believes what he says. I just don't get it.

Math Can Be Tricky

Hillary's 35 Years don't necessarily add up. Ari Emanuel tries to do the math...

"...why is it that you get to count your time canvassing for McGovern as working for change, but Obama's time as a community organizer and public housing advocate aren't worthy of mention? And what about his time at Harvard Law (where he was the first black president in the history of the Harvard Law Review)? Doesn't count? But your time at Yale Law does? In the now immortal words of your husband: Give me a break."

Not for the Faint of Heart

A man tries to daredevil on the Empire State Building.
I almost threw up all over my keyboard.

In other words, you have to see this.

Please Don't Touch Me, Understand I'm Scared...

Rent closes in June. What a sad day for us all. This is the musical that literally CHANGED A GENERATION. Ok, it like totally played on our discmen on repeat over and over and over for many of us when we were in seventh grade. And eighth grade. And ninth. You get the idea.

And when I say "many of us," I mean, you know, losers.

Rent lives forever!

Read more about it here.

Hillary Rodham Flick

This video is sublime!

<------ Click Here!

10 Achievements The Academy Should Not Overlook: Part 1

This is the first post I'm going to write about great performances, directorial efforts, screenplays and films the academy would be foolish to overlook. Some of these kids are sure-things, and some are sure to be forgotten, but no matter what, they'll always be remembered on my blog.

Irfan Kahn & Tabu
The Namesake

Jhumpa Lahiri's beautiful, engaging novel is Gogol's story, but in the film, it is the actors playing his parents who capture our hearts. Khan & Tabu stand out despite playing such quiet people. Chances are, neither will be remembered in the supporting categories next week-- there were no boardroom scenes where they undressed, no cross-dressing as legendary singer-songwriters, no crazy shoot-outs from hotel windows. No, just pure, unadulterated acting from two heretofore unknowns (unknown to Americans, anyway) making their splashy cinematic splash by doing something increasingly rare: holding back.

Marie-Josée Croze & Julian Schnabel

The Diving Bell & The Butterfly

After a surprise Golden Globes victory on Sunday, Schnabel not only seems a sure bet to make the cut for Best Director, but the film is poised for inclusion in the Best Pic category after the Producer's Guild voted it one of its top 5 of 2007. The human spirit triumphs in this cinematic gem, but who'd have guessed its downer subject matter could triumph with the Academy? Janusz Kaminski deserves recognition for his cinematography, which is so inherent to the telling of this story, but let's not forget that despite a terrific (and sure to be overlooked) performance from lead Matthieu Amalric, the women in this film dominate the screen, and none more so than Croze. She patiently sits by Bauby's bedside, teaching him to communicate his every thought with the blink of an eye. Shot from Bauby's perspective, when she sits in front of him, she is all we can see, and all we want to see. Whether the actor's branch of the Academy is wise enough to see this, I won't hold my breath.

Laura Linney & Tamara Jenkins

The Savages

Maybe I'm a naif, but I thought I'd end this post with two women whose names should make the cut on Tuesday. Laura Linney is an actress of such caliber and such... oh, screw it. She could read the phone book in Chinese and I'd pay to see it. Her performance in this film is no better than her work in any number of other films for which she did not receive Oscar nominations (The Squid and The Whale, Mystic River), but for whatever reason the buzz is there this time and I'm hoping it carries her through. As for writer/director Jenkins, even if she makes it into the Best Original Screenplay category, she'll likely lose to Diablo Cody, but Jenkins' script is so smart, so honest, and so wise, it would be a shanda if she couldn't go to Bloomingdale's, buy herself a nice dress and get a moment of recognition for her terrific film.

YES (Reasons to Hate Hillary)

"I have never seen Senator Clinton lead her fellow Democrats in a successful challenge of President Bush. Never. That's a pretty awful record. Now, it would be one thing if George Bush was a popular president who was hard to defeat politically. But in fact, he is the opposite. He is the most deeply unpopular president of our lifetimes. And Hillary Clinton kept getting her ass kicked by that guy. That's the real criticism that should be leveled against Hillary Clinton."

-Cenk Uygar, Huffington Post

Cenk you very much!

Precisely. Exactly. Hillary was re-elected to the Senate in 2006 by a 2-1 majority, representing one of the most liberal states in the nation. With her name, her stature, and her obvious job security, Hillary could have been a voice-- a real voice, a true voice, a fighting voice-- for any number of issues: the environment, the war, gay marriage. 

In fact, as she was running for re-election in 2006, Spitzer was running to be Governor of NY, and he vowed to draft a bill allowing gay marriage in the state of New York. Here was a moment. Did Hillary seize it, take a stand, speak up, stick her neck out, add her name to a worthy cause, a fight for justice and equality?

Um, no. 

Instead, she toed her self-created moderate line and said, when asked if she would join the Governor and support his measure, "if our governor and our Legislature support marriage in New York, I'm not going to be against that... I'm not going to speak out against, I'm not going to oppose anything that the governor and the Legislature do."

Don't speak out against anything, Hillary. But maybe you could speak out for something, no?

Coward.

9/14

Ok. So if this were an exam, I would have failed. But I feel pretty good about my Golden Globe predictions this year. Got 9 correct out of 14 (for film only), including 5 of the 6 acting trophies. Was thrown by 2 films-- thought Enchanted would go over better (it went 0 for 2) and No Country, which lost Picture and Director. The 2 big wins for The Diving Bell and The Butterfly are very exciting-- the last time a Jewish-American director won a Best Director trophy for his foreign-language film was... well, it was a while ago. I think. (Does Barbra Streisand's win for Yentl count?) Juno went 0 for 3 (Thank God) and Angelina Jolie did not win the big prize. Guess her blackface (or spray tan, whatever) didn't go over so well with Jorge Camara and Noel de Souza (HFPA members from countries where Angie has not yet taken home a live souvenir). 

Also, I know it's like super passe at this point to hate Billy Bush, but I hate Billy Bush. Nancy O'Dell looked ready to hurt him. Wonder if there's any juice on what went down during commercial breaks. I watched the hour long NBC telecast and the LAST thing in the world I needed to hear were Billy Bush's thoughts on the merits of Cate Blanchett's Golden Globe victory. Perhaps that is a little hypocritical as I rant and rave-- who cares what I have to say!--but you can just x out of this blog if you don't like it. Unfortunately, I couldn't x out of the NBC telecast. I mean, I could have, but I couldn't x out Billy Bush. Whatever. He has got to go. He's done. And when he compares Tim Burton and Johnny Depp's teamwork to Scorsese and DiCaprio, you're like, this guy actually fancies himself some kind of intelligent film buff connoisseur. This is the man who said, "Keisha, meet Johnny" at the Oscars 3 years ago. Why is he still here???

With Oscar nominations coming out next Tuesday, look for this loser's posts about the films that MUST be remembered.

Ring The Alarm! Hillary vs. Obama: Day One

You've been following this Democratic primary. You're well aware of the two major themes that have been at the forefront of discussion: Music, and Day One. Song selection has played an unusually large role in the campaign of former front-runner Hillary. Back in the day when she was our inevitable choice, she made a big deal about letting the voters choose her campaign theme song; Celine Dion's ballad, You & I, won out (explain to me again why Hillary's surprised she's having trouble with the youth vote?). Never mind the fact that Celine belts out, "If I could travel across the world, the secrets I would tell..." (YIKES!).

As for Day One, no one's been more concerned than Hillary about reminding us that we need to elect someone who is ready to go the instant she arrives in Washington. Call me crazy, but I thought being Commander-in-Chief of the free world was, like, hard. I don't know of any job where someone has to be 100% ready on Day One. Even a McDonald's cashier has to learn to work the register. The hubris that someone thinks she doesn't need any on-the-job training sort of baffles me. Like, who would defrost your year-old frozen Big Mac if McDonald's suddenly insisted all applicants know how to flip burgers before they ever slip into that dark red apron? There'd be a lot of hungry (and angry!) obese Americans waiting around under golden arches.

But I digress. The fact is, we all know what Day One looks like-- it's the inaugural ball! It's a party! That's what happens on Day One (fool!). So let's take a moment to consider what the music would really sound like on Day One. How would Hillary's fete differ from Obama's?

Obvi, at Hillary's ball, Celine Dion is there to sing "You & I". She also sings "Because You Loved Me," so Hill & Bill can share a go-round on the dance floor while everyone has to smile and pretend the happy couple actually does love each other. Not that their marriage is any of our business, cause it's not. But don't ask me to play pretend with you. Why does your lie have to be mine?

The Clinton's old friend Barbra Streisand belts a tune like, "The Way We Were." Talk about change, baby! To appeal to her urban/youth support, Hillary gets Queen Latifah or X-tina to do a jazz standard with a lot of annoying riffs. Bill plays the sax. Elton John sings something schlocky. Hill does some kind of bizzarro hora with Chelsea and Donna Karan and Madeline Albright and Jane Fonda. People Magazine features this shot on the front of its Jan 22nd, 2009 edition with a softball headline like, "Hillary's Carousel of Love."

Ok, now, imagine Obama's. 

I mean, seriously, I want you to imagine how fucking hot this party is. 

Unlike Hillary, who was dressed in something smart and buttoned up and sophisticated, Michelle Obama goes all out and wears some incredible, hip, sleek Zac Posen concoction. She looks radiant. Obama is glowing in his Armani tux. Beyonce comes out in that spangly silver mini-dress with Jay-Z and brings the house down with "Ring The Alarm." (When Beyonce starts to sing, "She gon' be rockin Chinchilla coats" Malia does a split on the dance floor.) Carole King duets with Rhianna on "Where You Lead." Alicia Keys plays "No One." A fan of Dave Matthews from his law school days, Obama gets choked up as he listens to "Crash" while he sways, holding his beautiful wife. 

Then, a moment for the history books when Aretha and Stevie go ape-shit on "Signed, Sealed Delivered" (which was played right after Obama's inspirational Iowa victory speech. I'm going to pretend that there's nothing, like, slavery-esque about the idea that once this contract is signed and sealed, I'm yours...) The Dixie Chicks play a song, just because it's a huge F U to Bush. The party ends with Lenny Kravitz, Amy Winehouse and John Mayer heinously destroying some silly song, but who cares because it's Amy Winehouse up there and she looks fuuuuuuuuucked up. The photo of Obama holding his wife during Dave Matthews' set becomes an instant classic.

Them's the brakes. That's the music. That's Day One. Forget experience, forget change. It's all about the party. 

I know which one I'd rather attend. Do you?

Bush In Israel

Kind of breathtaking, this photo, in its own, quiet way.

This Was A Bad Idea

Um, yeah. Can we all just agree that Harlow Winter Kate Madden is officially fucked? Twenty bucks to the person who accurately guesses when baby first enters rehab (year, month and day please). I'm good for the cash.

Sucks For Them

Isn't this, like, a super famous Greek play? Twins- a brother and sister- are separated at birth, meet later in life, fall in love, get married, and then discover the truth about their shared past. My question is, did they keep having sex after they found out?

Our First Openly Gay US Senator?

"I am gay and the most viable gay person to ever challenge an incumbent US senator"
-Jim Neal, Democrat from North Carolina running against Liddy Dole.

It's not like he'd be the only 'mo in the Senate (Hi Larry!!!). He'd just be, as Kanye West once said, the first to admit it.

It's Not About You, Honey

"There was something disquieting about this televised prodding of an almost entirely cerebral woman {Hillary Clinton} by an emissary of the “Girlfriend” posse. There were shades of voyeurism, of a perverse kind of exoticism akin to the fascination with which 19th-century European crowds once pressed around the cage of the Hottentot Venus, trying to figure out if she was fully human."
-Judith Warner, NYT

Golden Globe Predictions

No awards ceremony. No joy. Maybe I'll have an omelet at brunch on Sunday with yolk. That'll cure my blues over not seeing a post-stroke Dick Clark congratulate the chosen few among the sea of self-congratulating congratulators. (Oh who's kidding. I love those kids, ego and all).

Nonetheless, awards will be won, and my predictions for film (I don't believe they nominated Survivor: China for Best TV Drama, so my tv predix would be worthless) are:

Best Picture (Drama): No Country For Old Men

Best Picture (Comedy/Musical): Sweeney Todd

Best Actor (Drama): Daniel Day-Lewis- There Will Be Blood

Best Actress (Drama): Julie Christie- Away From Her

Best Actor (Comedy): Johnny Depp- Sweeney Todd

Best Actress (Comedy): Amy Adams- Enchanted

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem- No Country For Old Men

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett- I'm Not There

Best Director: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen- No Country For Old Men

Best Screenplay: Diablo Cody- Juno

Best Original Song: That's How You Know- Enchanted

Best Original Score: Dario Marianelli- Atonement

Best Animated Film: Ratatouille

Best Foreign Language Film: The Diving Bell and The Butterfly

OH FU!

Words can't describe...

Hey! I'm Right Here! HEY!!!

Seen THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY, Julian Schnabel's beautiful new film about French Elle editor Bauby? Can you think of anything worse than having locked-in syndrome? Obviously, like, being lit on fire would be tres unfortunate, as would drowning, falling off a cliff, etc. But I'm trying to think of scenarios where you live that are more horrible than locked-in syndrome (where your mind functions perfectly but you're unable to communicate with the outside world). Please add whatever fates worse than death you can come up with to my very lonely comments section!

Jess Goldstein in The Times

An article from the New York Times in December about my friend and favorite costume designer, Jess Goldstein.

Kerry Endorses Obama

So another loser endorses BO. Smell fishy to you? Kerry now joins Bradley as the 2nd Democrat in recent years to have failed in his own bid for the big prize who is now backing Obama. Am I the only one throwing salt behind my shoulder, hoping this isn't a bad omen? Kerry at least won his party's nomination, I guess that's a step in the right direction. Now all we need is Al Gore's support, and we'll have every major Dem loser of the last decade (not including, of course, the Reverand Al. He's still undecided).

A great poem for my reader(s)

Atlantis—A Lost Sonnet
by Eavan Boland

How on earth did it happen, I used to wonder
that a whole city—arches, pillars, colonnades,
not to mention vehicles and animals—had all
one fine day gone under?

I mean, I said to myself, the world was small then.
Surely a great city must have been missed?
I miss our old city —

white pepper, white pudding, you and I meeting
under fanlights and low skies to go home in it. Maybe
what really happened is

this: the old fable-makers searched hard for a word
to convey that what is gone is gone forever and
never found it. And so, in the best traditions of

where we come from, they gave their sorrow a name
and drowned it.

Thoughts On New Hampshire

A collection of online articles I found condemning Hillary and/or praising Obama, for anyone else as distraught as I am about Hillary's pretty vile win last night. Anyone else as disgusted about the amount of mud the Clintons slung at Obama? Especially Bill. He should be ashamed. And could they have fabricated a less realistic image of Hillary's supporters standing behind her last night (honey, you won the white-haired ladies. you didn't win the youth vote, no matter how many times you pretended to get excited when a random 20-something approached your campaign). Here's to hoping her tried and true machinery collapses, and we get some fresh blood. As Joshua Green, one of the foremost political journalists wrote in The Atlantic last year:

It is fair to wonder if Clinton learned the lesson of the health-care disaster too well, whether she has so embraced caution and compromise that she can no longer judge what merits taking political risks. It is hard to sqaure the brashly confident leader of health-care reform- willing to act on her deepest beliefs, intent on changing the political climate and not merely exploiting it- with the senator who recently went along with the vote to make flag-burning a crime- by her own tacit admission, no evidence of bravery in the service of a larger ideal. Instead, her Senate record is an assemblage of many, many small gains. Her real accomplishment in the Senate has been to rehabilitate the image and political career of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Impressive though that has been in its particulars, it makes for a rather thin claim on the presidency. Senator Clinton has plenty to talk about, but she doesn't have much to say.

Some more enjoyable reading below...

"But if Hillary used the antiquated tool of the powerless, tears, to manipulate the voters' perception of her, then she has sold her girlfriends down the river for personal gain. She certainly wouldn't be the "real candidate of change" that she's promising, but simply another old pol. Thanks, Hillary, but we'll just go back to grooming our girls to be the First Woman President of the United States we've been praying for. We've been working on it for well over two centuries and we can work a little longer." -Vicki Iovine

"There was a poignancy about the moment, seeing Hillary crack with exhaustion from decades of yearning to be the principal rather than the plus-one. But there was a whiff of Nixonian self-pity about her choking up. What was moving her so deeply was her recognition that the country was failing to grasp how much it needs her. In a weirdly narcissistic way, she was crying for us. But it was grimly typical of her that what finally made her break down was the prospect of losing." -Maureen Dowd, NYT

"But the flash point was -- it's wrong to do the Bush, Clinton, Bush II, Clinton II thing, no matter how gifted and intelligent Ms. Clinton is." -Chris Durang, American Dramatist

"That's it?" - A Jon Stewart Clip

And last, the woman who made Hillary cry in NH was so moved, she voted for Obama!