Diablo Sucksy

Very funny mock-up of the first stripper-cum-Oscar-winning screenwriter. Check it out.

The Larry Craig Congressional Internship

Oh Larry! You naughty, naughty boy!

More Fear Mongering From Hillary!

Yes kids, she's at it again. If you can't inspire the people, scare them. After all, it worked for Bush.

Way to go, Hillary. You should be really proud.

Read more about it at: http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/02/clintons_red_phone.php.

Obama's Open Letter to the Gay Community

"But having the right positions on the issues is only half the battle. The other half is to win broad support for those positions. And winning broad support will require stepping outside our comfort zone. If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones – and that’s what I’ve done throughout my career. I brought this message of inclusiveness to all of America in my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic convention. I talked about the need to fight homophobia when I announced my candidacy for President, and I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign – from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King once preached."
-Barack Obama

Read the full letter here.

Because I Can't Resist

Anyone need a summer internship? Why not consider this?

Girls need not apply.

Speaking of Republicans

This is what happens when we vote for legislators who don't believe that all men are created equal.

Stop Acting Like A Republican

“We’ve seen the tragic result of having a president who had neither the experience nor the wisdom to manage our foreign policy and safeguard our national security. We can’t let that happen again... Electing a president should not be an either-or proposition when it comes to national security. We need a president who knows how to deploy both the olive branch and the arrows, who will be ready to act swiftly and decisively in a crisis.”
-Hillary Clinton, quoted in today's NY Times

First of all, do not compare Obama to Bush. Honestly Hillary? Fuck you.

Secondly, this is how Bush II won election #2. By scaring people. If you have to scare us into voting for you, if you think the only way you can get elected is by trying to more or less convince us that unless you're in the White House, we'll die, well then, again I say, fuck you.

It may secure you a few extra delegates, but it will cost you pieces of your soul.

Not My Best Oscars

Sad to say, I only got 13 predictions right this year. Did pretty well in most of the major categories, though they were all rather predictable. Got the big Tilda Swinton upset. Missed out on Marion Cotillard. And under-estimated the love the academy would have for PT Anderson & Roger Deakins. I was wrong.

A few other thoughts:

1- Lose the Best Song performances. Just flat-out lose them. We don't need them, they're never exciting, they suck up so much time. It's a waste.

2- Considering the recent writer's strike and its highlighting of the importance of writers, they could have made a great writers montage, no? Paid a little homage to the dorks.

3- Diablo Cody: Go away. Just go away. You don't have street cred, you're not cool, nobody likes you.

4- Take Nicole Kidman with you. Take her and go away.

5- And bring Ryan Seacrest. He is insipid. But he is better than Billy Bush. I really missed Joan Rivers, though.

6- There were no acting winners this year who are one-hit wonders. No Jennifer Hudsons, no Mira Sorvinos. Real thespians, which is exciting...

And which (7) gives us hope that the Oscars will someday soon recognize:
-Gena Rowlands (preferably before she's gone)
-Julianne Moore
-Laura Linney
-Laurence Fishburne
-Emily Watson
-Joan Allen
-Maggie Gyllenhaal
-Mark Ruffalo (if he gets a good role, which he really needs asap)
-Don Cheadle

They should make the show 3 hours, cut the songs, and continue to honor, if not the very best, then at least talented, good work (which does NOT include YOU, DIABLO!).

Why don't they have George Clooney give an award with Brad, Mattie D, Ben, Leo? Wouldn't it be fun to have a hot cool guys presentation?

And last, but not least, #8: Seeing Crash in the Best Picture montage made me ralph. They need to put a footnote next to it that says, "We know it's a piece of doo doo. We only picked it because we were scared."

Here Goes Nothing: Oscar Predictions

I'm going out on a limb on a few of these awards (an upset in the Adapted Screenplay category! Yes, really! Oh no he didn't!!). But it's such a boring, predictable Oscar year, you gotta think they'll want to switch it up a little bit, no? Good luck to all

Picture: No Country For Old Men

Director: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Actress: Julie Christie, Away From Her

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men

Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, Juno

Adapted Screenplay: Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Cinematography: Roger Deakins, No Country For Old Men

Editing: No Country For Old Men

Art Direction: Atonement

Costume Design: Atonement

Makeup: La Vie En Rose

Original Score: Atonement

Original Song: Once

Sound: The Bourne Ultimatum

Sound Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Visual Effects: Transformers

Animated Film: Ratatouille

Foreign Language Film: The Counterfeiters

Documentary Feature: No End In Sight

Documentary Short: Sari's Mother

Animated Short: I Met The Walrus

Live Action Short: The Tonto Woman

The Youtube of These Videos

Check out this clip of Hillary criticizing Obama on his so-called plagiarism issues.

She says, "If you look at the youtube of these videos, it does raise questions." I know it's minor, I know it's teeny teeny tiny. But it just feels, well, so sad. No one in my generation has ever said, "Hey guys, did you check out the youtube of that video?" It was a nano-second of a moment, but it represented how out of touch Clinton is with the youth of this country.

Let's Have Fun

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, has recently said, " in the near future, we will witness the disappearance of this cancerous growth called Israel."

Nice.

Then Iran's Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces said they would pursue, "the complete destruction of the Zionist regime and liberation of the entire Islamic land of Palestine."

In other words, a call for genocide. As noted on the Jerusalem Post's website:

"...the Iranian rhetoric [is] a "blatant violation" of the United Nations Charter. Furthermore, the 1948 Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide is explicit in its demand for states to punish and prosecute those that carry out "direct and public incitement to commit genocide," wrote [Ambassador Dan] Gillerman.

The letter does not ask the Security Council to issue a statement, because similar instances in the past have failed to round up the necessary 15-member consensus."

How the fuck can they not get 15 people to sign a statement saying genocide is wrong?

Fuck the police?

No, N.W.A.

Fuck the U.N.

Moving on, Ahmadinejad called Israel a "filthy bacteria."

Really? That's the best you can come up with, man? I mean, even Tile has better phrases for the gunk that lines your sinks and showers.

So let's show Ahmadinejad what a little creativity really looks like. Show them what we got. If you were standing before Mahmoud now, how would you finish this sentence?

If Israel is a "filthy bacteria" then you, sir are ____________.

The Delegate Math

This is from msnbc.com:

The Delegate math: After last night’s contests, here’s where things stand:

The NBC News Hard Count is Obama 1,168, Clinton 1,018. There are 53 delegates unallocated, including 19 in MD, 10 each in CO and GA, 6 in WI, 4 in HI, and one each in DC, TN, NY and IL. We estimate a conservative 27-26 split here. The Superdelegate Count: Clinton 257 versus Obama 185. That’s a grand total of: Obama 1,355, Clinton 1,276. Counting only the superdelegates he has now, plus his pledged delegates, Obama needs 65% of remaining PLEDGED delegates to hit the magic 2025 number. Reaching that is probably unrealistic, but when you add in the unaffiliated 353 superdelegates (76 of whom are not yet known yet and won't be appointed until April, May and June), his magic percentage number is down to 48%. On the flip side, Clinton needs to win 58% of all remaining pledged delegates simply to get the pledged delegate lead back. Forget 2025. And if you assume Obama wins Vermont, Wyoming, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oregon, Montana, and South Dakota, then the magic percentage number in the states Clinton wins rises to 65% -- SIMPLY TO GET THE PLEDGED DELEGATE LEAD BACK...

Little Orphan Annie, Meet Colin Farrell

Anyone else find it odd that the posters advertising Colin Farrell's new shoot-em-up gory mobster comedy, In Bruges, are using the same font made famous by Annie 25 years ago? Is there some kind of subliminal connection we're supposed to make?

It's Official: BINEL Endorses Obama!

Knowing how influential my voice is on the blogosphere and appreciating how objective my blog has been thus far, after carefully considering all the candidates currently running to be the next (and my next) President, I enthusiastically endorse Barack Obama. He has a great and keen intellect, a deep-rooted sense of ethics, a brilliant way with words, a firm and deep grasp of our constitution, an honorable legislative record, and an ability to truly inspire Americans to come together. He excites the electorate-- and he excites me. He makes me feel proud to be an American. And that matters.

We need someone who can get things done, sure-- but not by eeking out the support of 50.01%. Obama has the potential to build a coalition of voters and policy makers to effect the change we so desperately need in our civil rights legislation, in our environmental regulations and in our economy. Experience matters, but only if one has the right experience, and has, for lack of a better phrase, done good. Working his way up from the bottom, fighting in the streets of Chicago, winning election to the state senate and powering his way to the United States Senate, Obama's story is innately American, the story of someone who comes from nothing and makes something of himself, on his own. We've just endured eight years of a President who got where he is by riding in on someone else's coattails; we don't need to suffer through that again.

We deserve a President of whom we can all be proud. I hope we have the fortitude and the foresight to elect Barack Obama the 44th President of the United States of America.

Governor Barkely, You've Got My Vote!

A former pro-basketball hero coming out unequivocally for gay marriage and in the same breath stating his desire to be Governor... of ALABAMA?!?

We need more political hopefuls like Barkely. Don't care what happens now; if I move to Alabama by 2014, he's got my vote.

The Inspiration Epithet

"It is not enough to be vetted. The goal is to be vetted and found clean.

Though it is increasingly unlikely, Clinton may still have a path to the nomination -- and what a path it is. She merely has to puncture the balloon of Democratic idealism; sully the character of a good man; feed racial tensions within her party; then eke out a win with the support of unelected superdelegates, thwarting the hopes of millions of new voters who would see an inspiring young man defeated by backroom arm-twisting and arcane party rules.

Unlikely -- but it would be a fitting contribution to the Clinton legacy of monumental selfishness."

-Michael Gerson writing in today's Washington Post.

As he so humorously notes, Hillary is having a tough time inspiring people when her main argument against Barack is that he has an inspirational effect on the electorate.

Hey Lady! Get out of this race already!

One Horse Race; Five Little Ponies

With the end of the writers' strike, it looks like we're going to have a real life Oscar show to watch, and while I should be grateful, of all the years, this is the one I wouldn't have been heartbroken about missing. Joel & Ethan Coen'll collect 3 or 4 trophies each, which is fine, I guess (though There Will Be Blood moved me a great deal more than No Country). The stripper will collect her Original Screenplay statue and say something totally unnecessarily dumb (I've gone from not liking Juno to NOT LIKING it). DDL will get his second trophy, Javier will storm the stage, and Julie Christie will prevail over the likes of Ellen Page and Marion Cotillard.

Yes, kids, it's going to be a boring night. The only chance we have for a surprise is in the race for Best Supporting Actress (sadly, it's often the first prize awarded, so it's still going to be a long and boring night, but at least we're in for one good race). And what a horse race this is! They've each picked up at least one major critical prize this year; you could make a case for any one of these five women and you wouldn't really be going out on a limb. So why not let the ladies speak for themselves?

1) Cate Blanchett- I'm Not There

Pro: I'm Cate fucking Blanchett. You people worship me. You nominated me for being Queen Elizabeth again, and let's face it: that wasn't exactly a well received movie. I'm the closest thing to really truly actually being the next Meryl Streep, except I'm Australian and prettier, and again, let's face it: you like accents, and you like pretty ladies. Also, Heath Ledger was in my movie, so it could be like a little tribute to him if I win, right? I won the Golden Globe. Plus, I'm Cate fucking Blanchett and I'm playing Bob fucking Dylan. That's just cool. It just is.

Con: So what if I won this award 3 years ago for pretending to be a famous star? And so what if none of you even saw this movie? And so what if Todd Haynes' beautiful films have never won any awards? I voted for Julianne Moore in Far From Heaven. Is it my fault you were too daft to do the same?

Please let me be like:
Jessica Lange circa 1982

She had nods in the lead and supporting races. With no shot in the former (it was all Meryl Streep (ahem) that year, starring in Sophie's Choice), she won in the latter, for Tootsie.

Please don't let me be like:
Sigourney Weaver circa 1988
Emma Thompson circa 1993
Julianne Moore circa 2002.

After scoring nods for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress in the same year... they all lost both. Not like me!!!

2) Ruby Dee- American Gangster

Pro: I'm going to die soon. I mean, I'll probably be dead in the next 10 years, certainly in the next 20. And I'm probably not going to be able to keep on memorizing lines and being all dramatic. So this is it, folks. It's now or never. The people at SAG understood that. That's why the gave me the trophy. Cuz I'm not Saoirse. I'm 83 years old. And you're probably gonna send my 83 year old friend Hal Holbrook home with nothing. Nada. Zip. You really want to do that to two 83 year olds? Plus, my movie actually made some decent money. And I know y'all saw it (not like I'm Not There, which, let's be honest, you weren't there either when it was screening on like, what, 4 screens?)

Con: I had about 14 lines of dialogue. I was barely on screen. Plus, I'm black. Maybe some of you think that's an advantage, but the old white people who should have fawned for Bogie's Bacall are gonna be even less inclined to fawn for Davis' Dee.

Please let me be like:

James Coburn- Affliction

His movie, like mine, only scored 2 Oscar nods, but he prevailed over the likes of Ed Harris and Billy Bob.

Please don't let me be like:
Lauren Bacall- The Mirror Has Two Faces
Gloria Stuart- Titanic

Lost the prize despite status as ancient thespian who had never been nominated before. Grrrrreat.

3) Saoirse Ronan- Atonement

Pro: Of the five best picture nominees, mine was the most English Patient-y, and you people loved that shit. Even though I don't have the star power of James & Keira, my character's the one around whom the whole story pivots. You love a great romantic tragedy, so you're sure to have watched my movie, and most of you probably liked it and want to see it win a couple of awards besides, like, Best Score. Next up for me is Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones, so you know I'm about to embark on one hell of a career. I won the Phoenix and Las Vegas critics prizes, which is tres prestigious. Plus, later on in Atonement, my character is played by Vanessa Redgrave. You could have nominated her. Even though her part was small, it was meatier than Ruby Dee's. But you picked me over Vanessa Redgrave. Let's just say that again. You picked me over Vanessa Redgrave. Saoirse or Vanessa? Saoirse.

Con: I'm 13 years old. I'm up against one almost-dead legend, one living legend and 2 indie queens. And I'm 13.

Please let me be like:
Anna Paquin- The Piano

Tatum O'Neal- Paper Moon

Well-liked flick nominated for Best Picture.
Pretty young girl.
Winner.

Please don't let me be like:
Abigail Breslin- Little Miss Sunshine

Well-liked flick nominated for Best Picture.
Pretty(?) young girl.
Loser.

4) Amy Ryan- Gone Baby Gone

Pro: Um, yah. See that beautiful, classy broad up top, third row on the left? That's me. Now see that cheap looking drug-addicted white trash hussie on the left? That's me, too. Giving a powerhouse dramatic performance in a solid indie flick from Oscar-winning debut director Ben Affleck, I'm a critics darling, having won the Boston, Broadcast, National Board of Review, NY and LA Critics awards for supporting actress. I'm a seasoned pro of the New York theatre world making a fine entrance into Hollywood...

Con: ...I'm a seasoned pro of the New York theatre world making a fine entrance into Hollywood; I'm going to have a long and interesting career. You'll see more of me, in better movies that people will like a lot more than Gone Baby Gone. Hell, this is the only nomination we got. So maybe you like me, maybe you even really like me, but you like some of my competitors' films a whole lot more.

Please let me be like:
Marcia Gay Harden- Pollock

We're both Tony Award nominees (she only has 1, I've got 2) who had substantial roles in well-received dramatic movies where we mastered tough accents (hers was Brooklynese; mine was Boston) and had verbal sparring wars with Ed Harris (he weighed 40 pounds more in her Pollock than in my flick, but whatever).

Please don't let me be like:
Joan Allen- Nixon
Laura Linney- Kinsey

Not that I wouldn't like their careers. My God-- this blonde should be as lucky as her golden-locked, theatre-chopped sisters! They've both earned multiple Tony nods (Joan even won in 1988), but despite multiple Oscar nods, they're serial losers. I wouldn't mind a second nod someday (or third or fourth), but this go-round I'd like to win.

5) Tilda Swinton- Michael Clayton

Pro: Though Atonement also received 7 nominations, Michael Clayton earned many more in the major categories, picking up Picture, Director, Screenplay & 3 acting nods. I'm a veteran of indie cinema, perhaps its royal British Queen. I just won the BAFTA award, which is awfully fancy. In a year when the indie Coen brothers are the toast of the town, you may be feeling more generous toward your less fiscally fortunate thesps.

Con: Michael Clayton just may be the only Best Picture nod this year to go home emptyhanded. It's not winning Best Pic, Tony Gilroy ain't beating Diablo or Joey & Ethan, Tom Wilkinson's not going to stop Javier and George doesn't have a prayer against Daniel Day. So maybe we'll win Best Score? Um, doubtful. I just may be this film's only hope. You liked it enough to nominate us 7 times over. Is that all we're gonna get? Perhaps. And let's be honest, how much love do you moneybags really have for an indie outsider with a strange name? It's not like I'm Barack Obama.

Please let me be like:
Kim Basinger- LA Confidential
Rachel Weisz- The Constant Gardener
Geena Davis- The Accidental Tourist.

Like me, they were the most prominent women in their films, which were well received and nominated for (but ultimately lost) Best Picture. But their supporting ladies won!

Please don't let me be like:
Kathleen Quinlan- Apollo 13
Toni Collette- The Sixth Sense
Marcia Gay-Harden- Mystic River

Like me, they were the most prominent women in their films, which were well received and nominated for (but ultimately lost) Best Picture. And their supporting ladies lost.

Now the Altos

"While Clinton, the designated valedictorian, reaches out for the ego and super-ego, (Obama) supposedly goes for the id. She might as well be promoting choral singing in the face of Beatlemania... Someone needs to tell her that there are better ways to signal conviction than by raising one's voice and drawing out the vowels, as in "I KNOW ..." and "I BELIEVE ..." The frozen smile has to go too, along with the metronymic nodding, which sometimes goes on long enough to suggest a placement within the autism spectrum."

-Barbara Ehrenreich, mocking Hillary before dispelling Obamamania on Huffington.

46 Days Til Jhumpa!!!

Jhumpa Lahiri's new collection of short stories, Unaccustomed Earth, will be available on April 1, 2008. I'm assuming all my many, many readers are as excited as I about reading it. One of the stories, published in the winter fiction issue of the New Yorker this past December, was, unsurprisingly, beautifully written, moving and honest and true.

You can pre-order Unaccustomed Earth here.

What are you waiting for?

Super Michigan

In an insightful (and I would argue, dead-on) article on Huffington, former New York mayoral candidate Mark Green makes the case that Hillary should not fight to have Florida and Michigan's delegates seated, just as Obama should not mess with the Superdelegates' role.

As Green writes, "Trying to alter the rules after the voting has begun... is a formula for defeat. Any changes now will not only infuriate the losing candidate's supporters but also could delegitimize the nomination this Fall. You don't change a law if you don't like the results -- you don't move the goal posts during the game to advantage your favorite team... So is it an unfair advantage that Clinton had a long head start with party officials who are superdelegates because of her husband's administration? Or that Obama's very newness makes him a less inviting target of the Far (F)right accustomed to swift-boating Democrats? Sorry, the answer to both is not yes or no but -- it now doesn't matter. Each candidate will now play the hand they're dealt, according to the Rules of the House."

Or, as Tom Hanks famously said, "There's no crying in baseball! There's no crying in baseball!" But I guess some candidates are unfamiliar with a little movie I like to call A League of Their Own.

So Take A Look At Me Now

As Obama likes to say, we are not the Red States or the Blue States; we are the United States. That being said, the map is sure starting to look like the United States... united behind Obama.

After winning 21 states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands, Obama surely seems to be on his way to making the claim that he is the candidate wanted by more people in more states. Hillary has outright won 10 states and the American Samoa (which, help me out, is where again?). New Mexico has still not been called, though it looks to go in her favor, putting her total at 11; 13 if you include Florida and Michigan.

Either way, only 16 states remain. Obama needs just 5 more wins to have won the most states (for whatever that's worth). Hillary would need to win all but 3 of the remaining contests to make such a claim. Although the number of states a candidate wins is ultimately irrelevant, it will be quite difficult to pretend it's entirely irrelevant if this map keeps getting bluer.

Free Speech in Hillary's House

Stephen Kaus writes a very compelling column on Huffington Post today about Hillary's relationship with free speech. This is all in relation to the MSNBC "scandal" when David Shuster asked if the Clinton's were pimping Chelsea out. As others have already noted, anyone who goes out on behalf of a candidate is being pimped out to some degree, Chelsea no more so than anyone else. But Hillary's response is, well... I hadn't actually read it. Here's a snipet:

"I am accustomed to criticism, certainly from MSNBC. I know that it goes with the territory. However, I became Chelsea's mother long before I ran for any office and I will always be a mom first and a public official second."

Um, barf! Chelsea's 28 years old!!! And was a fucking Rhodes Scholar. I'm glad Hill's feeling maternal, but something about this letter strikes me as inherently vomititous.

The Little Beagle Uno That Could?

Been following the Democratic dog race so long, it's nice to have a new distraction. And what a distraction Uno is! As the first beagle to win his hound group, Uno could make history tonight...

And I'll be there! That's right, kids. I'm going to the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden tonight. My heart is with the Golden Retrievers, but look at Uno! He's so cute! And he apparently "took a flying leap for a piece of filet mignon."

Read all about it here.

The Vice-President Game

It's beyond premature to speculate who might be the Vice-Presidential candidate should Barack win the nomination... but hell, why not have a little fun. Post your suggestions or predictions below!

A Foreign-Policy Pro?

Joe Biden: D-Delaware
(Even though he called Obama "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean"?)

Wesley Clark
(Even if he's a Clinton supporter now?)

A Solid Governor From A Major Swing State?

Ted Strickland: D-OH
(Lord knows, the Democrats need to win states like Ohio in November)

Or A Female Governor?

Christine Gregoire: D-Washington
(But does he need help in the Pacific Northwest, after his major victory Saturday?)

Jennifer Granholm: D-Michigan
(Too close to Illinois?)

Janet Napolitano: D-Arizona
(Can she help him triumph in the state if Obama goes up against AZ's senior senator?)

Kathleen Sebelius: D-Kansas
(Does he need help in the heartland? Against McCain... probably.)

What About Another Popular Freshman Senator from the Mid-West?

Claire McCaskill: D-MO
(Could be a pretty sweet ticket, no? Her support surely helped him in a narrow defeat over Clinton in Missouri.)

Or An Anti-War Liberal Leader?

Russ Feingold: D-Wisconson
(Too liberal? Too ethnic? Does that matter in this election?)

And Speaking of Liberal(ish) Ethnics...

Michael Bloomberg: I-NY
(Can you even imagine? Surely this would put Bama over the top with those concerned about his lack of economic and business acumen.)


Let the speculations begin!!

As Good As It's Gonna Get

Joni Mitchell, the greatest singer-songwriter of all time, ever, period, has never won the Grammy Award for Best Album. In fact, the only time she was nominated- in 1974, for Court and Spark- she lost to Stevie Wonder. There's no shame losing to Stevie (although there's a lot of shame in having lost Record of the Year to Olivia Newton John. Gag me).

So it was a small victory (and after all, isn't that all we ever really get) when Herbie Hancock won the Grammy last night for Album of the Year for his jazz renditions, half with vocals, half instrumental, of some of Ms. Mitchell's finest compositions. I have to admit, I've not yet heard this album, but I'm definitely going to purchase it now.

It's not quite the same thing as Joni getting the prize herself, but hats off to her longtime collaborator, Herbie Hancock.

Obama Ahead? According to Whom?

According to CBS news, he's ahead by 3 votes.

But according to CNN, Hillary's winning by 27 delegates.

The New York Times shows Hillary ahead by more than 150 delegates, while the Associated Press has her ahead by 28.

MSNBC has Hillary ahead by 33 delegates.

And at ABC News, Hillary is up by 16.

What kind of fakakta process is this?!? Not a single major news source can agree on the numbers? I thought we were living in a transparent democracy.

Apparently not.

In Charlize We Trust

Academy Award-winner Charlize Theron was named Woman of the Year by Hasty Pudding Theatricals. She's one cool gal in my book, not only for her skilled performances on the silver screen, but for her, dare I say it, audacious stand on gay marriage. Even if she's only trying to get the press to back off about her own marriage plans, it's bold for anyone to stand up for what's right (and to have done it 3 years ago, when the climate was even less receptive to the idea than it is now). So good for you, Ms. Theron. We appreciate you, even those of us outside the Ivy League.

Jesus Christ in Anglais

This very, very funny and well written column by Mary Mapes on the Democrats fight for Texas is getting a shout-out on my blog because she has introduced me to a quote with which I was previously unfamiliar, and that might be my new favorite quote of all time. After describing Texans' appreciation for a good female politician, Mary tells us about the state's first female governor, Ma Ferguson:

"...a hilarious quote attributed to Ferguson during a debate on the use of Spanish in Texas public schools. She exhorted the state to require English, saying, 'If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it is good enough for the children of Texas'."

Yes, We're Ready For Change. But Not From The Dynasty's Queen.

Hillary is trying to appeal to the youth of America. "Are you ready for change," she asked a youthful group in Washington state.

Yes, fool. But the Queen of the Democratic Dynasty ain't gonna be the one to make it happen. It's like, if Prince Philip ousted the Queen and was like, alright, now it's time for change! Um, no. You're married to the Queen of England! You're not exactly poised to serve as an agent of change, buddy.

If the Brits want change, they'll make a queen of Baby Spice. Or Kate Moss. That's change.

And in America, we'll take Barack. But thanks for the offer, Quillary.

To My Brothers & Sisters in the Virgin Islands

For all my many, many readers across this great nation, from Washington to Maine, this weekend is yours. I urge you to get out and vote for Obama.

A breakdown here.

The Dems Don't Know What They Have

"Mrs. Clinton is losing this thing. It's not one big primary, it's a rolling loss, a daily one, an inch-by-inch deflation. The trends and indices are not in her favor. She is having trouble raising big money, she's funding her campaign with her own wealth, her moral standing within her own party and among her own followers has been dragged down, and the legacy of Clintonism tarnished by what Bill Clinton did in South Carolina. Unfavorable primaries lie ahead. She doesn't have the excitement, the great whoosh of feeling that accompanies a winning campaign. The guy from Chicago who was unknown a year ago continues to gain purchase, to move forward. For a soft little innocent, he's played a tough and knowing inside/outside game... The Democrats have it exactly wrong. Hillary is the easier candidate, Mr. Obama the tougher. Hillary brings negative; it's fair to hit her back with negative. Mr. Obama brings hope, and speaks of a better way. He's not Bambi, he's bulletproof."
-Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal

Fuck You Jason Reitman

This guy has no charm at all. And no sense of humor. Maybe that's why I didn't laugh during his over-rated flick... wait for the end, which is incredible.

Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?

Well, it's probably not. Nothing is likely to be firmed up, unless someone breaks away with major victories in several key states. That said, it's not impossible that voters might make up their minds and hand a decisive victory to one of the Democratic candidates, in which case...

Tonight could be different from all other nights.

Tonight could be history.

Tonight could be the making of the next President of the United States, and the first one in my lifetime who has the potential to rally a nation of disaffected cynics.

Obama, my whole heart is with you today.

They Call Me Plaxico

This is not a sports blog, I promise to stop these posts real soon. But honestly, I was introduced to a man named Plaxico last night and now I'm obsessed... with his name. His amazing, amazing name. I think we should all vow to name our first borns Plaxico, male or female. The man is legend. Why shouldn't his name be, too?

The Miracle of Super Bowl XLII

I'm no sports junkie, but enjoy this highlight from last night's incredible NY Giant victory.

The Giants Win; Tom Petty Sings!

The man is 57 years old and he still has it. All of it. Enjoy this clip from last night's thrilling half-time show during the thrilling Super Bowl 42.

I'm A Free Woman

Oprah 4 Obama at UCLA. Hell, she's got me all fired up. Check it out for yourself.

If Obama Loses The Nomination, I'm Voting for Silverman!

God I love her so much.